First of all I really like all the patterns you used on her clothes and skin. They make your work look more realistic. I am impressed especially with that effect, since most cartoonists don't bother doing that, even the most skilled and popular.

However, what bugs me is that you don't seem to have a certain lighting source, since random parts of her body are highlighted. I suggest you find a certain light source and shade and highlight, using that source as a guide.

Also, the tools you use to create her hair is also buggind me, since they looks kinda unrealistic, and that contraticts with the other patterns. At this point I think it would be better if you could spend dome time drawing her hair flock by flock, lineless or not. I know this can be exhausting, but I believe this may help you improve youw artwork.

Conclusion:
Vision: Your picture doesn't really represent something. You just wanted to introduce your new fc.

Originality: I can't give a high score for fan characters. I am sorry for that.

Technique: I pretty much explained my reasoning.

Impact: Your picture impressed me since I looked at it in my message box!